Rimshot: Warped Movie Quotes (Take 1)

"Never. I'll never wash with the cheap Tide. You've failed, your neatness. I wear Levi's, like my father before me."

Do you believe in magic?

It's been a while, but I'm back at it once again.

Rimshot: "@James Cameron's #1 fan"

"Titanic was a great movie!"

"No. The Titanic was a great tragedy. And so was the movie."

Rimshot: "Wai-wuzzat?!"

Here's the genuine article:

Courtesy Wikipedia, 2012.

And here's something I found in the library at one of the schools where I work:

Undiluted Water Vapor

Gears turn in my mind
My spine, a banjo string, twangs
The hand moves, ink bleeds

(want more?)